Monday, May 10, 2004 @5/10/2004 02:07:00 PM
fell asleep when conferecing
then i tink i say alot of silly thing
wonder wad i say
cuz i can hear myself toking but dunnoe wad
was so happy tt u called
at least u care
was betting wiv myself whether u would
but yah i heard the vibration after five minutes
put down the pone early cuz wanted u to sleep
hated myself
hated myself for gan qing yong shi
hated myself for lettin ur reaction affected my test
hated myself for lettin my brain tink bout you throughout the test
hated myself for not holding back my tears
hated myself for being immature couldnt handle ur reaction well
it only a simple rejection
it not tt u hav never reject me
y is my reaction be the same as if u first time reject me like tt
at least u never throw back the chocolates
and never give me back when i asked for it
i didnt mean to cough
it happen naturally n not cuz of the things they say
could c tears in her eyes
my heart pity her but my brain tell me tt she deserve all these
WHY??
subconsciously i tell myself to help her
but i cant
y m i followin e crowd or do i really hate her
wonder wad caused the strain in us isit cuz u hav change
or m i e one tt is change
wanted a new environment
includin hangin out wiv new frens
guess i influnece by him le
say all kinda lame things n start to crap a lot
wanted teach him a lesson
put his shirt in my bag
but oppss i brought it home
but he also kinda filial
buy such an expensive present
cant imagine myself spendin so much money
was looking forward to today after sch but smth crop up
the way u tell me so sweet
ask me to help u decide say u will listen to wadever i say
the way u phrase it make me so hard to angry wiv u
i can imagine the way he will say
let me guess he will say smth like
"goin out wiv e guys so cannot" or "hav to go home" or "dun feel like goin out"
haha then u say
"tml got phy spring test leh so how??should i go home study or watch movie wiv u..u help me decide okay i listen to you"
c the diff of course the impact will be different too
for the first one i would b veri sad, angry n disappotinted but what can i do..tell u hav fun reluntantly
for the second one he say til like tt of course i ask him go home study loh
y he could tell me as a fren
but you couldnt
is it cuz u dun treat me as a fren
diff ppl tellin diff things would hav diff impact
so why make it so straightforward
cant ppl use a more tactful way of tokin or of rejecting ppl..
but make their decision clear at the same time
wo ke yi ren shou ni bu gou ai wo
wo ke yi ren shou ni you biao de meng
jiu suan shi bian huang hua hong wo